?
....
Guest
I was born into a family that was Catholic (and fairly violent). When I was around 9 years old, I found a Christian tract in the men's room at K-Mart that explained the gospel and a bit about Christianity. After reading the tract, I "repented" but I only wanted to avoid hell; it wouldn’t be until much later that I would truly repent. Because I was a kid from the "projects", that was pretty much a social death sentence at school; the kids made sure I never forgot it. Home was a living nightmare: my brother was a 350+ pound monster (I was only 220 at the time of our last fight), who would get into fights with me, then blame me for it. I tried going to the police after being beaten by my brother, and was called “a liar”; I learned that going to anyone "in authority" was pretty much useless.
“Escaping” from them was pointless as well: as many times as I tried to get away from them (last time was trying to get a bus out of state), my mom’s side of the family would hunt me down and threaten me with physical harm, while lying to the police and then punishing me for seeking help from anyone.
At that point, I didn't rely upon the Lord and I only knew the scripture verses from the tracts and not the whole bible. I had no firm ground to stand on. I became dark and brooding, and began wearing black and scowling at people. I may have "claimed" to be a Christian", but I was lying to myself' I looked evil, and acted like it as well. It took the Lord several years to reach me, and eventually He did.
But it took an awful lot…
On May 15th, 2007, my mom was in ICU with a severe lung infection. After she slipped into a coma, the doctors came to us with grave news: they had done an MRI on my mom, and found what they believed were nodules of cancer throughout her lungs. To make matters worse, my brother made matters worse by making threats against the hospital if they didn't save her life. A family friend of ours who had connections to law enforcement was forced to turn my brother in to the police, who then arrested my brother and searched his room at our house, where they found weapons and explosives. Whatever strength of my own I had at this point finally gave out; with the situation we were facing with my brother and all, it was more than I could take. I had no ability to deal with this, and finally saw myself as I was; small and weak. My world was over, and everything that meant anything was in ruins. I didn't fully realize then what I do now, but I knew I needed Christ, and just surrendered to him.
The doctors meantime performed the biopsy on mom’s lungs that we requested: they found that the "cancer" in her lungs was instead inhaled food. The nursing home had fed her too fast, the food went into her lung and the MRI showed it as organic lumps. After removing the inhaled food, my mom recovered with (thankfully) no brain damage from oxygen deprivation. My older brother ended up going to prison for his threats; my dad and I moved to a city near where I grew up and moved my mom to a nearby home until we could bring her home. I continued to learn more of the Lord. When my mom was well enough, we broke the news to her about her eldest son. She wasn’t happy, but it was what it was.
The worst was to yet come...
In late 2010, my brother was arrested again, this time for nearly killing his then 4-month old daughter (I had warned the state and the authorities, but they didn’t listen). When my mom heard the news on TV, she suffered a series of heart attacks (one caused brain death due to oxygen deprivation, the last one killed her). My dad followed 5 months later of a broken heart. My mom was 64; my dad was 84. I ended up leaving and moving far from home in an odyssey that lasted 9 long years. My parents have been dead for 12 years as of posting this, and my brother was released from prison in 2019; to that end, I have been advised by both legal counsel and my pastor not to have anything to do with my brother for my own physical safety (I have received threats from him).
I suffer the lingering (and lifelong) effects the beating in 2007 inflicted upon me; the injuries , effects and scars (TBI, other physical, emotional and psychological) are numerous and severe; nowadays, I prefer not to dwell on them or discuss them at length. All I will say is that they have tremendously impacted my ability to work, and as it stands, I am no longer in the workforce. After two failed attempts at SSD, I gave up (the doctors kept denying me without looking at my case, and the stress nearly killed me).
I just wish to leave well enough alone now; I’m weary and need peace.
That said: where I am now in life is just doing whatever I can to survive with what I have left: my wife and my two cats. She, like me, is disabled as well (in different ways), and we keep each other company. Basically, just waiting for the Rapture to come and doing what we can where we can is the best we can do.
*NOTE: RECONCILIATION WITH MY BROTHER IS NOT POSSIBLE. He is evil beyond all measure, threatened me/ my family with harm/ death, is deeply into the occult, and has made it clear repeatedly that he has permanently rejected Jesus Christ.
“Escaping” from them was pointless as well: as many times as I tried to get away from them (last time was trying to get a bus out of state), my mom’s side of the family would hunt me down and threaten me with physical harm, while lying to the police and then punishing me for seeking help from anyone.
At that point, I didn't rely upon the Lord and I only knew the scripture verses from the tracts and not the whole bible. I had no firm ground to stand on. I became dark and brooding, and began wearing black and scowling at people. I may have "claimed" to be a Christian", but I was lying to myself' I looked evil, and acted like it as well. It took the Lord several years to reach me, and eventually He did.
But it took an awful lot…
On May 15th, 2007, my mom was in ICU with a severe lung infection. After she slipped into a coma, the doctors came to us with grave news: they had done an MRI on my mom, and found what they believed were nodules of cancer throughout her lungs. To make matters worse, my brother made matters worse by making threats against the hospital if they didn't save her life. A family friend of ours who had connections to law enforcement was forced to turn my brother in to the police, who then arrested my brother and searched his room at our house, where they found weapons and explosives. Whatever strength of my own I had at this point finally gave out; with the situation we were facing with my brother and all, it was more than I could take. I had no ability to deal with this, and finally saw myself as I was; small and weak. My world was over, and everything that meant anything was in ruins. I didn't fully realize then what I do now, but I knew I needed Christ, and just surrendered to him.
The doctors meantime performed the biopsy on mom’s lungs that we requested: they found that the "cancer" in her lungs was instead inhaled food. The nursing home had fed her too fast, the food went into her lung and the MRI showed it as organic lumps. After removing the inhaled food, my mom recovered with (thankfully) no brain damage from oxygen deprivation. My older brother ended up going to prison for his threats; my dad and I moved to a city near where I grew up and moved my mom to a nearby home until we could bring her home. I continued to learn more of the Lord. When my mom was well enough, we broke the news to her about her eldest son. She wasn’t happy, but it was what it was.
The worst was to yet come...
In late 2010, my brother was arrested again, this time for nearly killing his then 4-month old daughter (I had warned the state and the authorities, but they didn’t listen). When my mom heard the news on TV, she suffered a series of heart attacks (one caused brain death due to oxygen deprivation, the last one killed her). My dad followed 5 months later of a broken heart. My mom was 64; my dad was 84. I ended up leaving and moving far from home in an odyssey that lasted 9 long years. My parents have been dead for 12 years as of posting this, and my brother was released from prison in 2019; to that end, I have been advised by both legal counsel and my pastor not to have anything to do with my brother for my own physical safety (I have received threats from him).
I suffer the lingering (and lifelong) effects the beating in 2007 inflicted upon me; the injuries , effects and scars (TBI, other physical, emotional and psychological) are numerous and severe; nowadays, I prefer not to dwell on them or discuss them at length. All I will say is that they have tremendously impacted my ability to work, and as it stands, I am no longer in the workforce. After two failed attempts at SSD, I gave up (the doctors kept denying me without looking at my case, and the stress nearly killed me).
I just wish to leave well enough alone now; I’m weary and need peace.
That said: where I am now in life is just doing whatever I can to survive with what I have left: my wife and my two cats. She, like me, is disabled as well (in different ways), and we keep each other company. Basically, just waiting for the Rapture to come and doing what we can where we can is the best we can do.
*NOTE: RECONCILIATION WITH MY BROTHER IS NOT POSSIBLE. He is evil beyond all measure, threatened me/ my family with harm/ death, is deeply into the occult, and has made it clear repeatedly that he has permanently rejected Jesus Christ.
