What's new
Christian Community Forum

Welcome to Christian Community Forum. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Ephesians, A User's Guide To Spiritual Warfare

Z

Zephyr

Guest
(Admin Note: This article is long, but is being allowed to be posted in its' original format.
-Sojourner414)

Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

The word "finally" can only mean that something must be done before you can "finally" proceed. What we are proceeding to do according to the instructions in Ephesians 6 is

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

So before we go reaching for armor and try taking stands, there is some training and preparation in order. If there were no need for training, there would be no need for the inclusion of the qualifier "finally", so therefore, the whole Book of Ephesians works together to prepare us to take up the Armor of God and take our stand against satan.

This isn't just casual assumption based on guesswork. I had more trouble with the devil and his harassment between 2004 and 2008 or 2009 than I care to remember. I tried all sorts of things, including quoting Scripture, expecting the demons to be impressed (that usually didn't work), declaring the battle won based on my assumptions of what Revelation 12 should mean (that failed utterly), anointing oil (might actually have helped a little, but I suspect God was feeling sorry for me by then) and begging every church I could think of (that got me nowhere, so I called churches in 5 states, which garnered me one sympathetic ear and a bottle of anointing oil at an affordable price). I tried Bob Larson ministries which garnered me a few phone calls with a rather odd amateur sort of Larson trainee who lived a couple of hours away and I never did meet in person. And I did a LOT of praying, learning a dependence on the Lord that only comes when you've tried everything and have no other choice. Some Day in Heaven, He and I will tell the whole story too...

So I did finally learn some things. I learned a lot about the devil and how he does and does not operate. I learned a bit about being careful to not attribute more direct action to the devil than is explainable any other way. Most of the problem with sins that are hard to shake have to do with damage already done to a person by something the devil did during our individual life, leaving us to firmly believe things that aren't true. And I learned the devil is not powerful, what he is is influential. So he can't make your car float in thin air, but he does tell lies that can seem true and he does come up with really bad ideas that sound good until you see where its all leading.

This is why the Word of God is so important. Talking too much about the Bible and trying to live strictly by the Bible sounds religious until you actually try it in practice. When you live by the Word, our Great Shepherd will lead us, through His Word, to a way of life that is victorious, healthy and life giving. So let us then proceed to examine why the whole Book of Ephesians tells what we need to do to win at Spiritual Warfare and why.


In his opening remarks as he wrote this important letter to the Church in Ephesus, Paul first establishes the nature of our relationship with the Lord. Paul speaks of the depth and richness of God's love for us, expressed through Jesus Christ. This is important, because it establishes what it means to Jesus Christ to be involved in our lives and our circumstances in spite of the fact that we have willfully sinned against Him. This was extremely important to me, because I was frankly amazed at how much trouble Jesus Christ was putting Himself through to fight for me. It had been very clear from early on that He was indeed fighting for me, and I was really awed by that. So Paul is careful to establish faith rooted in the fact that however small we might be in our own eyes, God values us deeply and takes us seriously.

Just in case that might go to our heads, though, Paul follows this magnificent encouragement with Chapter 2 which says things like:

Ephesians 2:1-3
1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.

Now that Paul has brought us down a notch or two, he goes on to establish the difference between religion, using the Jewish Old Testament law for his well understood example, and spirituality rooted in Jesus Christ, establishing His position on the struggle:

Ephesians 2:13-18
13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

This important groundwork sets the stage for dependence on Christ alone as well as a confidence that it is really God we are going to be approaching here, not some powerless myth or something.

In the third section of his letter, Paul explains what this is all about. The fact that Jesus Christ was opening the gates of God's sheepfold to the Gentiles was a great offense to the religiously correct Jews. Paul, then, made it a point that being religiously correct was not going to be effective in reaching the truth about God:

Ephesians 3:4-6
4 In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, 5 which was not made known to people in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets. 6 This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.

That's really important, because when confronted with spiritual trouble, the first impulse is to get religious as possible. Another question would be to wonder why a clear victory can seem elusive at best and impossible at worst. Paul had undoubtedly had to ask these kind of questions in his career, and he shared the answers God gave him:

Ephesians 3:10-13
10 His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11 according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. 12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. 13 I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.

Paul knew all about how some folks lose heart and faith when things get really bad. Paul was an expert in hanging tight onto faith when things get really bad, so he knew exactly how to encourage the rest of us. He set a splendid example in this letter and other letters he wrote over the course of his ministry.

The next verses are of the sort that everyone loves to hear, how Jesus loves ME!!! But it is important to remember that Jesus loves everyone else He works in and through just as much... So to despise your brother or sister in Christ is to disagree with God Himself, in effect demanding of God "What were You THINKING when You saved THAT person"... In making that mistake, the Christian has just entered a state of foundational disagreement with God, a mistake that satan gets endless mileage out of pushing.

Ephesians 3:14-19
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

It seems clear enough that if we are to be filled to the measure with all the fullness of God, we must all be on the same side. An army at war with itself isn't going to be much good in defeating an outside enemy! I have found that it is possible to be victorious without the help of fellow believers, but it works better, and certainly faster when we enjoy the respect, encouragement, prayers and sound advice of our fellow Christians.

What is Spiritual Warfare, how does it work and why? The basic definition of Christian Spiritual Warfare is to take a stand against the devil and his schemes (Ephesians 6:11). The devil’s schemes are all based on some sort of deception that causes us to misunderstand God’s intent and therefore make His ministry ineffective in some way. This may mean messing up God’s plan for our own life or it may mean messing up God’s plan for the lives of people around us, either way, the devil is out to cause fear, doubt, instability and distrust. When the devil’s plans are working in his favor, people are found to be working against each other, against ourselves and ultimately against the Lord Himself ,who is a God of peace and stability. This, then is why how we act, what we do or don’t do matters so much. How we act and what we do springs from how we think, which is why satan attacks our thought life with negativity, lies and temptations (enticement). He accuses us against ourselves, against each other and against God, and believe me, he can be very persistent. Because satan is very persistent, and because as an outside observer, he is able to spot weaknesses in how we think that we ourselves are unaware of, his lies can and often do, come off as extremely credible, and very difficult to overcome as well. For this reason, it can and does take some deliberate effort to refuse to believe the lies. The key, then is found in believing Scripture as it is written.

One of the most important precepts of Scripture is forgiveness. Because forgiveness is so important to God, forgiveness is often the most difficult part of our walk with the Lord to master. I have no doubt that is a deliberate move on satan’s part, the one thing he works the hardest to destroy in our relationships, with first ourselves, second with our families and third with other people around us. It is very much in the devil’s best interest to destroy our faith in God as well, but I think one of the primary ways he gets at our faith is to mess with us directly and with how we all see and therefore treat each other.

Jesus Christ, working through the Holy Spirit combats these things through speaking the truth in love. It is not uncommon for us to have a hard time believing what the Lord says though, directly because His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways.

Isaiah 55:7-8
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.

This is very important to pray about and understand, because as this precious Book of Ephesians unfolds, it will challenge the very ways we cope with the day-to-day challenges of life, which is the reason chapter 5 in particular is largely underestimated and dismissed…

To the best of my understanding, power is something God (rightly) reserves for Himself, and any authority we might have is tied directly to our place in His family. So when we call on the name of Jesus Christ, He answers precisely because we are His. For example, and this has happened to me many times and to my husband several times as well. We wake up in the middle of some weird bad dream and call on Jesus Christ, and the dream stops immediately, and doesn't come back. Only God has the power to stop the dream, but we have the authority to trust Him and have that trust affirmed. I think that's accurate, I hope it is. It took me a long time to even begin to understand what authority in Christ even might be. If anyone has a clearer answer, please post it! As to why the church is in so much trouble, we look for easy answers and clear victories. Sometimes what we get is anything but, and people tend to get desperate and try just about anything... Others give up entirely. The least common, yet most effective thing to do is read the Word and keep praying even if it takes years to get the issue straight. In our push-button world, though, many people won't wait for that... This is absolutely tragic, because in some cases that's exactly what we should be doing! Just because there is great power and profound answers in Jesus Christ doesn't mean the process is effortless and instant! A hard lesson, but a very important one...

As I entered the latter parts of Ephesians chapter 4, I got hung up on verses 11- 13:
11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

These verses are extremely important, but I have never seen church leadership functioning properly, so I asked Mattfivefour for his advice. The following is quoted from his reply:

“Ephesians 4:1-6 is a call to the members of the Church to function as the members of the church, in their daily behavior (their walk) and their functioning together.
In furtherance of this point, Paul, writing under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, makes it clear through Ephesians 4:7-16 that God not only has a purpose for the Church, but a structure. This structure is critically important, but is largely smothered by the habit in the Western church of a few select individuals claiming the spotlight while assuming and/or insisting that others are somehow qualified only to watch the superstars in dumb admiration. This is a brutal mistake, driven by egos of a few at the expense of the Holy Spirit and by extension, Jesus Christ Himself. The Lord, however is not totally thwarted by the rebellion of the church, He can and does step neatly around such people and accomplish His sovereign Will in spite of these problems... That is the good news. The bad news is that many people will be red-faced rather than congratulated when the time comes to answer to the Lord for how we have stewarded His Gifts…”

Ephesians 4:1-7
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.

I am departing from this last point, or rather continuing to build on this, as it is so very important. I talked to Mattfivefour on the phone for a while, in order to be as certain as possible of what i am trying to communicate here, so let us depart from this point: Ephesians 4:1-7
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.

Now to drop down to the next point Paul is working towards, we shall pick up at verses 12-13:
12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

"To prepare" is expressed in the Greek word καταρτισμὸν (katartismon), which (special thanks to Mattfivefour) is, according to Vocabulary Of The Greek New Testament by GH Moulton and G Milligan,
to repair a thing for its full destination or use. Now this is so important, precisely because religion tells us that we have offended God, that He is very angry, and we had better toe the line OR ELSE!!! Which has the working effect of scaring many people into being too afraid of the Lord to really trust Him, and thus hiding our failures and imperfections from Him (as if that were possible), from each other (in most cases that's probably a good idea) and from ourselves. However in trying to bury these things, we actually are giving satan a place to hide in our hearts, our thoughts, our lives, and we weep in secret over agonies we know we cannot overcome, without daring trust that Jesus Christ cares more about healing whats wounded in us than He does about the sins we are committing because we are too weakened by our wounds to do any better. Before we proceed (or I get jumped here), there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between a wounded and faltering person who is seeking the Lord and an arrogant hard hearted person who is sinning deliberately indifferent to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Let those who have ears hear...

I am still very much praying over, studying and developing this discussion, again, it is so important. There is no point in worrying about what others are doing wrong if we have nothing correct to replace it.

If we don't like what we see other Christians doing, someone MUST offer them a more effective approach. Anything less is just noise!!!



Part 2

I have been putting a lot of thought and a lot of prayer into this study. Returning to this issue has brought back some memories that had begun -- at long last -- to fade...

My husband has said he has never heard anyone speak of the Lord and the sort of experiences I have had with Him quite the way I do... That, and an objective return to a series I wrote for another forum back in 2009 has brought back some memories from those days. I didn't set out to be particularly holy or anything; I just had a very serious need to know who God really is, how He thinks and why. When I first became a Christian, one thing I was completely clear on was that whoever or whatever I might have thought God really is was so badly mistaken that I would have to dump every preconception I had ever had about spirituality and start from scratch. So I did. I read my Bible with keen interest, frankly very surprised at what is actually says, particularly the New Testament. When I began learning to pray, I found myself asking the Lord all sorts of questions about how He was asking me to cope and how to actually do the things He was asking me to do which will soon be discussed as we enter chapter 5 of Ephesians... I was overwhelmed with afflictions from without and from within during those years, and more recently as well. Some days it was all I could do to face the fact that I had woken up to face yet another day... At one point I begged the Lord to just let me die, I was so miserable that I couldn't conceive hell to be any worse, so I told Jesus Christ He didn't owe me (He didn't and doesn't), and that He need not let me into His Heaven. His reply was a gentle but firm no...

In 2008 and 2009, two things became clear to me. First, the structure of local churches seemed institutional to me. Until I read the article Matt shared with me yesterday, I had thought that was just the way churches were supposed to be, and that the problem was my own perception, tainted by experiences of my rebellious youth. In fact, the typical American church is institutional, because one of the strongest reasons people go to church is to attempt to protect their kids and marriages from the poison of pop culture. I have never been able to bring myself to fault anyone for that... They do have a right to seek shelter in the Lord. The problem is they get so institutionally introverted that they shut out the unbelievers who make the outside world so threatening in the first place, thus defeating their own larger purpose...

The second thing I learned is that most Christians don't understand the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, don't think themselves or anyone else really has the Gifts, or much worse yet, do think they have the Gifts of the Holy Spirit and don't seem to understand what they are or why. Let me break that down a little. Around here, the outward expression of the Holy Spirit is largely smothered on purpose because it is just plain safer and saner if nobody tries to operate beyond the normal 5 senses. One or two churches tried to go into the higher functions of Christian Spirituality, and got into trouble. One of the pastors who got fooled by Toronto Vineyard type deceptions (they were claiming the "gold teeth blessing" among other things) is still leading a fairly large church, but more carefully and quietly. Most churches, though, just quietly operate, doing typical Baptist works of mundane service like providing school supplies and food for the poor and doing short term missions. Thus they perceive their gifting to be things like leadership, teaching and encouragement. They're not terribly mistaken either, I don't think. But there is more to the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, and I wonder if its possible for us to be more effective than we are. On no uncertain terms, there is a growing need these days as the majority of the people around us are falling fast into deeper and deeper evil as they hurl headlong towards Hell. This is serious, and for many, there are young family members in extreme danger of being caught in the dragnet...

I have thought long and deep about how I came into the experiences with Jesus Christ that I did. It wasn't exactly deliberate, but it wasn't accidental either. If you look at Ephesians chapter 5 and Colossians chapter 3, it becomes clear that the Biblical ideal is way out of step with the way just about everybody lives in the "real world". Right there is where the trouble starts, because many people decide right away that God's ways are not only impossible, but enough to put us at a severe disadvantage if we actually try to live that way. So most people don't try. What they don't understand is that when we do try, the Holy Spirit ignites into real power and starts backing us. I have lived this and I can and do testify it is true. There are a lot of former drug addicts and other people who were in deep sin when they came to repentance who are saying the same thing, and being conveniently ignored...

I have this much to say, its all I know. From the beginning of my Christian walk, I made it an important part of my life to read my Bible daily. I read every single Book at one time or another, although some Books I read over and over, (most the NT, Isaiah and Jeremiah, least some of the minor prophets), others rarely. And I spend time in quiet prayer daily, just in case the Lord wants me to do something for Him, and to pray over my own life and for people I know. Because I am ready at all times, sometimes the Lord does want me to do something for Him, and I am able to serve Him in some way. When I am serving Him, and also when I have turned to Him for answers only He can give, I have directly experienced several of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, as the Lord chooses to employ them. Sometimes its there, but, other times these gifts are clearly not there. That’s OK, when it does happen, I am keenly reminded that Jesus Christ is real, is alive, and, most importantly, He has His own thoughts, His own needs, His own agenda. I find that very reassuring. I need my God to be a living Individual, not something I made up on a creative afternoon...

I went through some terrible times with trying to fit into church and not succeeding. I dealt with those emotions through candid prayer and careful guarding of my heart. The question that saved my sanity was could their sins be somehow worse than my own? I was making mistakes of my own, different mistakes to be sure, but still...

Ephesians 4:11-13 discusses the ways the Lord uses His people to get things done His way:
11 It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

This really matters, because of what Paul says next:
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Note that Paul isn't warning against demons here, he's warning against the way people twist things! What Paul is warning against is worldliness, or in more recognizable terms, what we would call "popular culture"...
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

Ephesians 4:21-24
21 Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

We have two dynamics working together in Ephesians chapter 4; first, Paul states as strongly as it is possible to state something that we must depart from the futility of the sinful mindset. In other words, the way in which sin has warped our whole approach to living with ourselves and each other, that we need an absolute departure from a sinful context of thought and life and we must reconsider everything in the Holy Light of God's thinking. If we don't, we are going to keep getting into trouble. A very good working definition of futility is trying the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. If memory serves, that is also used as a definition of insanity, but honestly, I think futility is a better term here. The problem is that groups of people depend too much on "little lies", deceptions and attempts to control one another, because people tend to not trust one another's motives in most group settings. People get more motivated by their own perceived hope for a reward than they do for the greater good. In the case of Christianity, the only real winner has got to be Jesus Christ, He alone has GOT to be the one we work to see win, because ONLY JESUS CHRIST CAN BE TRUSTED WITH THE VICTORY!!!

I repeat:

Only Jesus Christ can be trusted with the victory.

If anyone or anything less is given the power, the authority, the right to rule, we are all in BIG trouble, because ONLY Jesus Christ's motives are pure.

Every time a sinner repents, Jesus Christ wins a victory. Every time His values are expressed in the way we live, we advance the Lord's agenda. If we have the guts to live the Scriptures we quote, people notice. They may repent, they may not, but one thing they do is notice. When Christians live out the Word in our actions as well as our words, we prove in practice the rightness of God's ways. To me, that is a victory for the Lord. Every time we deny satan, the flesh, whatever, we are advancing Christ's Kingdom agenda. I have great reason to believe those small victories count. These small victories back Jesus in His commands, proving that what He said to do is right to do. When we fight for that, He fights for us. I have lived this in practice, and I am very sure its right.

It is when people come to depend more on worldly thinking than they do on Scripture, that they open themselves to deception. 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12 explains the dangerous problem.
10 and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved. 11 For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, 12 in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

There are 2 interlocking points here that cannot be emphasized enough; first, there is the fact that those who are perishing lack a desire to receive a love of truth. This is because they take pleasure in wickedness. Wickedness is an enticing deception that takes many forms. The pleasures of wickedness are tied to the lusts of the flesh, and the whole poisonous process is largely underestimated by the church at large. Warnings exist for a reason, and this is one of the most serious warnings of all: Matthew 7:13-23
13 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14 “For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. 15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 “You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 “So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19“Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 “So then, you will know them by their fruits. 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23 “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; Depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’

Its not safe to assume that these verses only apply to false teachers, not when verse 19 says EVERY TREE. Particularly when we are so clearly in the times prophesied that there will be: Matthew 24:24
"For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect.

Therefore, it is a dangerous game to cling to falsehoods of any kind, or to neglect the Word in favor of anything that seems to "work better". Ephesians 4:17-18
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.

Which leads us, then, to the foundation of our goal: Ephesians 4:22-24
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

True righteousness and holiness... I do believe that is where the trouble starts. There is a nearly bottomless well of opinions about what "true" means when it comes to righteousness and holiness... We do have a finite set of instructions in the Bible concerning righteousness and holiness, the trouble starts when everybody has their palpable little portion of what they think is enough for them, and its the combinations of little bits of Scripture different people put together to satisfy their opinions of what "good enough" so often lead to all the divisions in the Body Of Christ. Judges 21:25
In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes

This next portion of the precious Book of Ephesians is so important, yet so difficult, I got stuck. It is one thing to speak of these things, quite another to do it, let alone teach how and why without sounding something like "this is only impossible, so just do it!"... I have been praying ever since Oct 22, when I wrote the last installment, and faced the following verses! This is a living, real-time example of what it means in practice to wait on the Lord. I have tried to start the next part of this discussion at least 3 times; these words started to come together this morning in my morning prayers. But, first, the verses I am working from: Ephesians 4:17-27
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. 20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:30-32
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The lessons in Ephesians chapters 4 and 5 are very difficult to express, exactly because they are very difficult to do. Most of us don't get seriously angry over little things, it is serious offenses that make these things seem impossible. For many, it is too much to even try; the pain, offense and bitterness are provoked by someone. In many cases, the provocation is very real, very serious. To even try to forgive, to let go, to somehow release the pain is beyond comprehension, because there is no way to pretend it didn't matter. Often there is no way to make it right. This problem severely complicates when the perpetrator of the harm is a family member or spouse. Yet we are strongly commanded to let it all go!! How do we do that? I remember a time when darkness was my only truth, when bitterness was my cup. My guts were full of razors in those days… I have seen this in others as well, even Christians…

Letting go of bitterness in prayer and a very deep search for the meaning of the truth expressed in Scripture was a discussion with God Himself. I didn’t do it for the people who had hurt me, I didn’t do it for myself, I did it for Jesus Christ. By removing the focus from myself and from the people who had hurt me, and by confessing that they were blind and perishing as I was without the Holy Spirit to Light my own way, I was able to do it at all. This would have been the season when I learned to shift the blame to satan, thus removing the self-interest factor… Letting go of anger and bitterness was a search for Spiritual maturity in Christ, done correctly according to Scripture.

If anyone would hope to genuinely win at spiritual warfare, this is an extremely important step. The devil gains a foothold that divides the Church and hinders faith through bitterness. The victory can be won, but only through great difficulty, as when we master the more manageable steps, because satan makes uglier bets against us and the going can and does get rough indeed. This is part of it, Paul went through it, as have a very long list of dedicated servants of the Lord ever since. However, it is exactly through these impossibly difficult times, when we get pushed so hard that we do make terrible mistakes in the heat of a moment, only to realize how badly we have sinned when we are able to cool off, that we return to the Throne Of Grace to confess and discover what “Peace that passes all understanding” can really mean. It is in rejecting sin that all this comes together. Rejecting sin doesn’t mean that we never sin, never make a mistake. Rejecting sin means that we catch ourselves, and discover what is wrong with the sin and why. When we do sin, we sin not just against God, but against each other. This is why loving one another is so important. What good does it do if we have the legalistically perfect walk in our own perception, only to pierce people around us with bitterness? When one Christian pierces another, we are still giving the devil a foothold in SOMEONE ELSE!!! This is one reason so many people raised in church are now atheists.



Did God really say... (Genesis 3:1)

What if He did. How does that impact the world around us?

How does that impact our walk with Him, our service to Him...

How does the perception that God meant what He said change things?

Ephesians 4:17-18 outlines in just a few words the source of every problem, every grief suffered on Earth due to the harmfulness of sin:
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.

"Futility of thinking, darkened in understanding, separated from the life of God, hardening of hearts"; the whole problem of sin in a nutshell. Then the Words of hope, real, tangible hope, in reach, available to all:

Ephesians 4:22-24
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

So Holiness isn't a style of music. Holiness isn't a posture we adopt by positioning our bodies. Holiness isn't the correct combination of decorating our churches or our homes. Holiness isn't just the right fabric in our garments.

Holiness is an attitude of our minds, our thinking, our actions. Holiness is a search for the mind of God, not in theory, but in practice. Holiness is a search for deception in the way we think and act.

Ephesians 4:25-32
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Speak truthfully. We depend on God to tell us the truth, so how much more must God depend on us to do the same! How can we claim to represent the God of all truth if we are not willing to be honest with others regardless of how we think the truth may make us appear to others!

"In your anger do not sin..." A cautionary warning. The devil instigates others, especially unbelievers and even more especially compromised Christians to provoke us to anger in an effort to compromise God's people to sin, thereby undermining the credibility of God's Church. So anything that provokes our temper should be a warning to be careful of where our thought process is headed when we are irritated or enraged, and to be very careful how we respond.

"He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands"

Some of the most arrogant people I have ever encountered are people who delegate almost all the work to be done at a job to others while they themselves sit proudly on their laurels congratulating themselves on their power. So those who have risen to high places in their personal endeavors and have it in their power to delegate tasks to others should be especially watchful of the temptations they are afflicted with... Authority is a stewardship, not an entitlement.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths"

This is one of the most overlooked commands in Scripture! James gave such a strong warning:

James 3:5
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

The things we are heard saying and not heard saying have a huge impact on the world around us! There are so many ways we can either heal or harm by the things we say! Gossip, for example, can be so exciting! This is a huge warning, because satan loves to provoke our emotions, and that evil provocation can and does feel extremely good! Beware the tingling enticement of such sin!! Many, many people fall for that, then are left to delve even deeper into sin in an effort to cover their guilt when the damage shows in shattered lives!!

Swearing often seems necessary to communicate strong feelings. This is especially tricky, especially because the need to communicate the seriousness of the issue is very real. On the other hand, one thing I have noticed over and over is that when I have been in situations where either there is no obvious opportunity to witness for Christ, or when I have been witnessing for Christ and unbelievers are deciding for themselves if my faith is credible, if I can refrain from swearing at all, they really notice that. This surprised me at first, but the fact that people do notice has happened often enough now, that I take it very seriously. A little thing like choice of language can strongly bolster our testimony to a watching world...

Ephesians 5:1-2
1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It seems to me that being imitators of God and living a life of love in an unlovely and unloving world is a very real sacrifice to the Lord. The impact love makes will surely last longer than just about anything else we could possibly do, since it is through love, honesty and kindness we witness to the lost...

Then there is the opposite of love...

Ephesians 5:3-7
3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

It has always interested me that Paul grouped greed in with sexual immorality and course joking. It is also hard not to notice that a Church which takes such a strong stance against abortion also takes such a weak stance against sex out of wedlock and adultery... Less than 50 years ago, should a Pastor get a divorce, his career in the church environment was over. Now divorces among pastors are a common feature of the church scene... In fact, among certain types immoral women, interfering with someone else's marriage is an accepted means of finding a "good" or "better" husband! And among high school college age youth, sex is considered a rite of passage of some sort... "Did God really say..." Well, yes, in fact He did.

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them."

Does this mean that if someone has already made the mistakes there is no hope? Of course not, but it is also very true that because things have already gotten so far out of hand, God's wrath is indeed coming down on this world with terrifying speed! Someone I love calls this "Snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory"... Indeed, this is exactly what has happened as sin has wormed its ugly deceptive way into the church at large.

I once heard a man speaking on a Focus On The Family program (sorry, I don't remember his name, I heard this show several years ago), about working hard to reconcile differences in his marriage related to handling money. He spoke of his doubts in this way: "Could the God of all perfection have made one little mistake in choosing my wife for me?" That dear man asked himself that question over and over, but deep down he knew that even if God could make a mistake, that wouldn't be it. So the certainty that he had married his wife in the center of God's will became the foundation of his decision to keep trying to break through to a place of respect and understanding that kept him in his marriage until he and his wife understood each other and reconciled their differences.

So being sure enough that God really DID say, that God really DID MEAN what He said is the critical foundation to all victory in Spiritual warfare, and by extension, the only means to unite with Jesus Christ in genuine and absolute victory in all things. It matters that much. Therefore, if we are to hope to put on the armor of God and use the Sword Of The Spirit which is the Word Of God, (Ephesians 6:17), we must insist that His Word is true no matter what else seems real.

Ephesians 6:16-18
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Lord Jesus, I thank You for the privilege of writing this series. I thank You for all You have taught me and for all You have given me. I thank You for your inestimably precious Holy Spirit which has so consistently backed You in all You said and all You do. I pray for this series and especially for Your Holy Word, to reach the hearts of many and to spark a deep and widespread revival in and beyond Your Church as we anticipate the stunning miracle of Your Triumphant Return.

On this Christmas Eve, I pray for Peace on Earth and goodwill towards all men, in You, through You and To You alone Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen


Link to Sojourner414's article on the Armor of God:

 
Awesome article, Zephyr!

I strongly urge folks here to read it; many forget that prayer isn't listed last by Paul because it is least, but in my opinion, most important!
 
Interesting read Zephyr, thanks for posting. :)



Letting go of bitterness in prayer and a very deep search for the meaning of the truth expressed in Scripture was a discussion with God Himself. I didn’t do it for the people who had hurt me, I didn’t do it for myself, I did it for Jesus Christ. By removing the focus from myself and from the people who had hurt me, and by confessing that they were blind and perishing as I was without the Holy Spirit to Light my own way, I was able to do it at all. This would have been the season when I learned to shift the blame to satan, thus removing the self-interest factor… Letting go of anger and bitterness was a search for Spiritual maturity in Christ, done correctly according to Scripture.

I think this is understandably a real tough one for a lot of people and you've made some excellent points here.

In our very fallen world we all are going to brush up against sin that causes painful injury to us and we all wrestle with forgiveness.

I know for me, when I realized and fully trusted God that He would indeed deal with sin, either in Christ or outside of Christ, I was able to really let go fully and forgive (and there were times where I had to ask the Lord to forgive through me). It's like giving God full permission (not that He needs this but it seems He wants our heart in this position or posture) to take over completely and deal with things as He sees fit, without me in the way nor creating more walls to one who needs to repent.


Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But

If your enemy is hungry, feed him.
If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
For in so doing
you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.


Romans 12:19-20


I've learned from experience that this is very true, so much so that I pray for the Lord's mercy for others now. I've learned that when I try to avenge it only makes me ugly and limits Christ's reflection in me (and God has been so patient with me as He's let me grow in this). For me, it really came down to, 'will I trust God and what He says in His Word?' What I've come to understand is that the Lord is able to deal with hearts in such a way that has the fullest understanding of the situation and what all has contributed to that situation. In His mercy He always points to Christ for that is the best way to bring resolution but if needed He will most certainly bring correction or consequences, in His timing and always for the good of all. He really is the best Person to make room for to allow for His vengeance to have it's way. And while we may move to be protective of others from continued harm where we can and as the Lord leads, taking vengeance only causes more harm to the person and others around them and to myself, and so I'm very cautious on this.

There was one person in my life who had caused great harm to me (I suspect we all have a person like this) and it took many years for me to understand forgiveness (vs. trust and relationship having to be earned back again, thus the need for healthy boundaries). When I really took in as truth that I really could confidently and safely trust the Lord to take care of things it was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was then that I could let go, forgive and pray for the person regularly. It was then that I could shake off the temptation to take on the great weight again and simply choose to forgive (confessing any harbored anger and asking for God to remove this), let go, let God and trust God......again and again. And, often God reminded me of His compassion towards me, that He sees my struggle. It was then that more fuller healing gradually came about. It was then that joy bubbled up in my heart, even though things were not resolved just yet. Psalm 103:13-14 often spoke to me during these times:

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He knows what we are made of,
remembering that we are dust.



Additionally I chose to trust the Lord that He would protect me. And, He did. Many a time this person tried to find my home but I found out from others later that God had put a block to keep that from happening. What gracious kindness of the Lord that He showed, a tenderness to keep me and my family safe and how my love for Him is ever more increased.


God was gracious and it seemed allowed time for repentance, and I think growth in understanding for this person that I did not know needed this, for they had been injured deeply as well (and this helped me to see how God's dealing with situations are more righteous and for the greatest good as He knows so much more than I).

However, when news came to me that there were still harmful actions being engaged in, I went directly to the Lord to ask Him to deal with the situation. I chose to forgive and placed in His hands, asking for the Lord's help for the sake of another who was the recipient of those harmful actions but I was not able to help. I was consumed by concern. Little did I know that at that very moment of prayer, this harmful person ended up having a heart attack!!! I did not expect this, nor was hoping for this but left things in God's hands to deal with as He saw fit. The person survived and it seems this event had the effect the Lord desired.

More recently, a woman who had caused me harm in a women's ministry years ago (about 10 years) but I had chosen to forgive and leave in God's hands (I wasn't quite sure what was going on at the time), realized the error of her ways as the Lord was gently dealing with her heart and maturing her in Christ. She had made great efforts to find my phone number in order to ask for my forgiveness (and I really commend her in her sincere desire to follow God in this, I believe this is a rare thing). I was quite surprised to have a message on my phone from her asking to talk and must admit that I was very cautious. However, in her communication she owned up to her actions and asked for forgiveness!! That was quite amazing! And, again, showed me that I can trust God to take care of things while I move on in seeking to be in His will in the work He has for me (I don't want unforgiveness to keep me from being where God wants me nor to pass on injury to others).

What was particularly interesting to me was how for years a particular passage really spoke to me about this situation, which was,

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act,
making your righteousness shine like the dawn,
your justice like the noonday.


Psalm 37:5-6

and

Wait for the Lord and keep His way,
and He will exalt you to inherit the land.....
vs 34


I felt directed to wait patiently for the Lord to act and in the meantime walk in His paths where He's guiding while He's working on things. I trusted that He would bring me to any needed further actions on my part.

And, the Lord did act, in His timing and He's the one who made the rightness of my cause and decisions (as directed and prompted by the Lord) to be clearly seen in this woman's eyes where she didn't understand at the time. So now, there's a healed relationship and we were able to pray together for God's guiding help in her life. How thankful I've been for the Lord's patience in helping me to grow in maturity, and I'll certainly be happy to exhibit patience with others in the same way. Not all situations end like this, but to the best of my ability I try, in the Lord's strength and help to move towards peace and reconciliation. In some situations forgiveness from a distance was all that could be done. And, although I've forgiven, trust is not automatically given....but instead trustworthiness must be shown again, with some cases, unfortunately, certain degrees of trust never being granted again in this lifetime for protective care of everyone involved.



Today, as I look at our nation, our world there's so much that can cause anger, and rightly so. It's quite overwhelming at times but.......

I don't want to let that fester and get in my way with serving the Lord, after all He died for the whole world and offers His forgiveness to all. So, I remember this truth:



Many seek the ruler’s favor,
but justice comes from the Lord.


Proverbs 29:26


So, I see that forgiveness is all anchored in trusting the Lord, trusting that He's working, when I don't see it and is faithful to His Word. And, this anchor and hope in Jesus will safely steady in tumultuous waters. :)
 
Last edited:
Interesting read Zephyr, thanks for posting. :)





I think this is understandably a real tough one for a lot of people and you've made some excellent points here.

In our very fallen world we all are going to brush up against sin that causes painful injury to us and we all wrestle with forgiveness.

I know for me, when I realized and fully trusted God that He would indeed deal with sin, either in Christ or outside of Christ, I was able to really let go fully and forgive (and there were times where I had to ask the Lord to forgive through me). It's like giving God full permission (not that He needs this but it seems He wants our heart in this position or posture) to take over completely and deal with things as He sees fit, without me in the way nor creating more walls to one who needs to repent.


Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But

If your enemy is hungry, feed him.
If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
For in so doing
you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.


Romans 12:19-20


I've learned from experience that this is very true, so much so that I pray for the Lord's mercy for others now. I've learned that when I try to avenge it only makes me ugly and limits Christ's reflection in me (and God has been so patient with me as He's let me grow in this). For me, it really came down to, 'will I trust God and what He says in His Word?' What I've come to understand is that the Lord is able to deal with hearts in such a way that has the fullest understanding of the situation and what all has contributed to that situation. In His mercy He always points to Christ for that is the best way to bring resolution but if needed He will most certainly bring correction or consequences, in His timing and always for the good of all. He really is the best Person to make room for to allow for His vengeance to have it's way. And while we may move to be protective of others from continued harm where we can and as the Lord leads, taking vengeance only causes more harm to the person and others around them and to myself, and so I'm very cautious on this.

There was one person in my life who had caused great harm to me (I suspect we all have a person like this) and it took many years for me to understand forgiveness (vs. trust and relationship having to be earned back again, thus the need for healthy boundaries). When I really took in as truth that I really could confidently and safely trust the Lord to take care of things it was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was then that I could let go, forgive and pray for the person regularly. It was then that I could shake off the temptation to take on the great weight again and simply choose to forgive (confessing any harbored anger and asking for God to remove this), let go, let God and trust God......again and again. And, often God reminded me of His compassion towards me, that He sees my struggle. It was then that more fuller healing gradually came about. It was then that joy bubbled up in my heart, even though things were not resolved just yet. Psalm 103:13-14 often spoke to me during these times:

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He knows what we are made of,
remembering that we are dust.



Additionally I chose to trust the Lord that He would protect me. And, He did. Many a time this person tried to find my home but I found out from others later that God had put a block to keep that from happening. What gracious kindness of the Lord that He showed, a tenderness to keep me and my family safe and how my love for Him is ever more increased.


God was gracious and it seemed allowed time for repentance, and I think growth in understanding for this person that I did not know needed this, for they had been injured deeply as well (and this helped me to see how God's dealing with situations are more righteous and for the greatest good as He knows so much more than I).

However, when news came to me that there were still harmful actions being engaged in, I went directly to the Lord to ask Him to deal with the situation. I chose to forgive and placed in His hands, asking for the Lord's help for the sake of another who was the recipient of those harmful actions but I was not able to help. I was consumed by concern. Little did I know that at that very moment of prayer, this harmful person ended up having a heart attack!!! I did not expect this, nor was hoping for this but left things in God's hands to deal with as He saw fit. The person survived and it seems this event had the effect the Lord desired.

More recently, a woman who had caused me harm in a women's ministry years ago (about 10 years) but I had chosen to forgive and leave in God's hands (I wasn't quite sure what was going on at the time), realized the error of her ways as the Lord was gently dealing with her heart and maturing her in Christ. She had made great efforts to find my phone number in order to ask for my forgiveness (and I really commend her in her sincere desire to follow God in this, I believe this is a rare thing). I was quite surprised to have a message on my phone from her asking to talk and must admit that I was very cautious. However, in her communication she owned up to her actions and asked for forgiveness!! That was quite amazing! And, again, showed me that I can trust God to take care of things while I move on in seeking to be in His will in the work He has for me (I don't want unforgiveness to keep me from being where God wants me nor to pass on injury to others).

What was particularly interesting to me was how for years a particular passage really spoke to me about this situation, which was,

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act,
making your righteousness shine like the dawn,
your justice like the noonday.


Psalm 37:5-6

and

Wait for the Lord and keep His way,
and He will exalt you to inherit the land.....
vs 34


I felt directed to wait patiently for the Lord to act and in the meantime walk in His paths where He's guiding while He's working on things. I trusted that He would bring me to any needed further actions on my part.

And, the Lord did act, in His timing and He's the one who made the rightness of my cause and decisions (as directed and prompted by the Lord) to be clearly seen in this woman's eyes where she didn't understand at the time. So now, there's a healed relationship and we were able to pray together for God's guiding help in her life. How thankful I've been for the Lord's patience in helping me to grow in maturity, and I'll certainly be happy to exhibit patience with others in the same way. Not all situations end like this, but to the best of my ability I try, in the Lord's strength and help to move towards peace and reconciliation. In some situations forgiveness from a distance was all that could be done. And, although I've forgiven, trust is not automatically given....but instead trustworthiness must be shown again, with some cases, unfortunately, certain degrees of trust never being granted again in this lifetime for protective care of everyone involved.



Today, as I look at our nation, our world there's so much that can cause anger, and rightly so. It's quite overwhelming at times but.......

I don't want to let that fester and get in my way with serving the Lord, after all He died for the whole world and offers His forgiveness to all. So, I remember this truth:



Many seek the ruler’s favor,
but justice comes from the Lord.


Proverbs 29:26


So, I see that forgiveness is all anchored in trusting the Lord, trusting that He's working, when I don't see it and is faithful to His Word. And, this anchor and hope in Jesus will safely steady in tumultuous waters. :)

Admittedly, I have a person like that in my life as well, and it's a struggle I still go through. The harm this individual did literally cost me my health, my parents (dead) and a lot of grief, anger and resentment. I struggle in prayer with this, trying to forgive but still angry that my family is dead and my body broken.

And I know I'm not supposed to be. :(
 
Wow, Sojourner, it sounds like you've gone through some seriously tough stuff, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how this is affecting you still and wouldn't deem to say that I know fully what you are going through as we all are uniquely created with different personalities and how we are effected by difficulties in our lives.

But I can certainly share my own story and journey in hopes that it may be of help and encouragement.

I certainly struggled quite a bit to heal and work through grief, anger and pain for quite awhile myself. A big healing aspect for me was that it was ok to have these emotions, that I needed to face them, not sweep them under the rug. That these were normal emotions but I needed to gradually let God move to the right response to those emotions.

A really big step for me was to realize who God was v.s. the prominent person in my life I grew up with. To let God become bigger in my mind and life, particularly His love, compassion and good plans and purposes for me in my life. And then His available power and power of protective care for me. At the same time I had to trust His Word that it was best for me to forgive rather than hang on to the cycle of angry thoughts, emotions and then un-forgiveness. Easy to say, hard to do. But, growing in the knowledge that I didn't have to earn God's love, even in the midst of my struggles, and trusting His Word that God was walking with me in the emotional tornadoes I often found myself in, was a tremendous foundation for me. A tremendous truth to return to whenever I needed.

There's a great story that embodies to me how God allows and uses situations for our good. A California almond tree farmer had planted some young trees on his farm. He purposefully watered them half as much as other farmers did their trees. This was of course a hardship for these trees but it caused them to do something that served to benefit them greatly in the future. They sent down their roots deep in the soil in search of water, much deeper than the Almond tree farms nearby. They found a greater source of water available to them to utilize as much as they needed and then some, an abundant underground water table.

When droughts started to come into play, the nearby Almond tree farms struggled in staying hydrated, produce fruit and stay alive. However, these trees of whom the farmer permitted hardship in their initial growth, in the end were abundantly flourishing despite the greater hardship later on in their lives......because their roots were well established in a deeper water source than the other Almond trees. The farmer, through the initial hardship permitted, had long term good intended for these trees. This is only a word picture and not intended to be taken in complete, literal application but rather shows in nature a spiritual truth:


I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:16-20


So, my focus in healing was to first saturate myself in the love of the Lord, to make that the focus of my mind, heart and to remember. And as my roots went deeper in faith towards the sustaining, spiritual waters found in Jesus Christ I found myself very gradually, small step by small step, becoming strong:


Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:7


There were times that I had to really keep my focus yet again on this, which helped me tremendously in gaining sustaining strength. And, God was right there meeting me in the moment as I fed on His Word which gave wonderful encouragement, assurance of His love, guidance and help. He also would provide people who happen to come along in my life for supportive encouragement, those who were also struggling in the same manner or certain books that were of help (for me the Boundaries series by Cloud and Townsend really helped....certain situations they described I found myself emotionally reacting to, then I'd stop, write out what memory the stories reminded me of, how it affected me, what's currently similar and what new plan of actions, as God's Word lays out did I want to purposefully choose to put in place).


Where hardships come our way, God intends to use for our good, to prepare us to survive and flourish in future circumstances along with good works He has for us to engage in:



And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28


Sometimes I had to take time to think about certain situations, the components and how it affected me. Usually that stemmed from current situations that seem to trigger similar responses and I wanted to break down what was happening, how it made me feel, what past circumstances did that situation reminded me of and how that affected my responses and reactions. Then, what did God's Word say to do, to remember, to trust. What lie needed to be replaced with a truth or promise of God? And, prayerfully seek the Lord about what past response that doesn't work today do I need to replace with a healthier Godly response?

Over time God showed me that I needed to change some thought patterns and habits when I found myself ruminating. First was to simply become aware I was doing so, then to choose to stop, bring what I was upset about to God right then and there, honestly share my emotions on it (sometimes pretty intensely....just as King David did) and then return to the truth I knew about God....He was here to help, I could trust Him, rest and lean on Him....even when my faith felt like a thin thread. Then, it took His strength and courage to help me make a choice.....against all my emotions sometimes, to choose to forgive.

Sometimes a sin against someone can be a real injury to the soul and there were times where I had to tell God, 'I'm struggling here with forgiving, please, give me the power to do so or would you forgive through me?' And then leave in His hands. Even if throughout the day, the event I struggled with would come up, I would develop the habit to right then and there pray again, "Lord, I'm having a hard time with this, I've chosen to forgive and continue to choose to forgive, please help me." By God's grace and power, I shut down the rumination and chose to move into where God has directed in His Word to do so.

And, as we grow in Christ, God allows difficulties in order to test and prove our developed faith and to strengthen emerging faith. Where the enemy of our soul intends to utterly destroy us, God intends to prove us and our faith in Him. He's for us, not against us. God wants to see how we do under fire and wants us to see for ourselves as well. That testing and proving shows us where God has grown us in Him and where we need to continue to grow in Him. It's a journey with the Lord as He develops us in Christ. And often, the hardship, testing and proving prepares us for wonderful work that the Lord has in mind for us in the future.

I see this with Joseph, betrayed terribly by his brothers. Imagine the pain he felt there! But, what they meant for evil, God meant for incredible good and Joseph, discerning this seemed to move from the pain to seeing where God was working in these very tough circumstances. He changed his focus from the evil done to him to what God intended to do through him. Thank goodness he did this for God used Joseph in mighty, wonderful, life saving ways. King David and the years in the desert before becoming King of Israel was a tremendously difficult time. Reading his psalms certainly gives invaluable insight of the internal struggles, pain, hardship and even desperation for God to do something! But, his example of always returning to the truth that he can trust God, wait upon God confidently is what helped me to move forward in my own tough circumstances. Over time his faith grew and matured as he saw God work in his life over and over.

I began to learn to trust in God's plan for my life, even when I couldn't see. That's the hard thing right? When I don't have a vision of where God is taking me, the plans He has for me it's hard to look up from the circumstances, trust and to not despair, panic and put myself outside of God's will. However, as I saw and learned that God is indeed worthy to be trusted, I've learned to confidently seek the Lord for step by step direction for the path He desires for me and to be careful to remember that He's faithful, for if I ever stepped off the path of trusting God, I quickly saw that the tools of the world that I might utilize would only cause erosion. Failure to trust God brought about more problems on top of problems. Through trial and error, I chose to trust God, trust in His direction and guidance of His Word to follow and trust that in His time, He would work in me and others.

I remember as a kid having the knowledge of God and puzzled as to why in the world I had to go through the extreme craziness I was going through. It all felt unnecessary and unhealthy and the people in my life didn't have to operate in the ways they were (in my inexperienced mind). And yet, I knew God was there because He worked to meet all my needs in clear, miraculous ways. So, I began to perceive a little bit that what I was going through was being permitted, of which I could NOT begin to understand why.....until I was saved and reading His Word.

Those very situations God has today used to be of help and assistance to others. In ways I never dreamed of or would have imagined. Those experiences God used to make me approachable, real and then be able to point to how God is the answer, healer and sustainer in struggles, who satisfies beyond anything this world offers.

We have a young man in our lives, a friend of one of the kids who's grown up in the very same type of household as my husband and I. We are realizing that God may be using us and our experiences to be able to meet him where he's at in the pain and hopelessness he's feeling, come along side and then point him to the Lord. God would not be able to as effectively use us were it not for the challenges we faced ourselves in similar situations.

That's not to say we're perfect either. Right now, there's a situation in my life that's quite the difficulty and certainly, initially pulled the rug out from under my feet for a bit, feeling like I was in a mud pit unable to get out. However, because of God's past help in deepening my roots of faith in His love, His past faithfulness and increased understanding of the magnitude of His capacity to work on my behalf and in the circumstances I'm in, I eventually was able to, by God's grace, get back to staying anchored to Jesus in faith, trusting in God's love and His good plans in these difficulties as well. This was not a perfect process but a bit messy with God faithfully getting me back to focusing on Him, His way and His plan. What I'm seeing is my journey in this with the group of people involved is intended for all of our growth. And, to my surprise (which really shouldn't be) God is going to use for good in other's lives that I'm going to get to engage with. Now, that was something I didn't see coming but I'm sure glad I trusted God where I didn't see.


And, thank God He's very, very patient! It gives me permission to be patient too as God helps me to be purposeful in following Him. And,where there's been loss, the Lord has supplied abundantly elsewhere, including an inheritance, family and spiritual healthy environments.

Hope this encourages you in some way and gives you hope.


Well, I've got to sign off here for times sake. I'm going to be out of commission so to speak in the next week but I'll be praying for you and everyone here. :)
 
Wow, Sojourner, it sounds like you've gone through some seriously tough stuff, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how this is affecting you still and wouldn't deem to say that I know fully what you are going through as we all are uniquely created with different personalities and how we are effected by difficulties in our lives.

But I can certainly share my own story and journey in hopes that it may be of help and encouragement.

I certainly struggled quite a bit to heal and work through grief, anger and pain for quite awhile myself. A big healing aspect for me was that it was ok to have these emotions, that I needed to face them, not sweep them under the rug. That these were normal emotions but I needed to gradually let God move to the right response to those emotions.

A really big step for me was to realize who God was v.s. the prominent person in my life I grew up with. To let God become bigger in my mind and life, particularly His love, compassion and good plans and purposes for me in my life. And then His available power and power of protective care for me. At the same time I had to trust His Word that it was best for me to forgive rather than hang on to the cycle of angry thoughts, emotions and then un-forgiveness. Easy to say, hard to do. But, growing in the knowledge that I didn't have to earn God's love, even in the midst of my struggles, and trusting His Word that God was walking with me in the emotional tornadoes I often found myself in, was a tremendous foundation for me. A tremendous truth to return to whenever I needed.

There's a great story that embodies to me how God allows and uses situations for our good. A California almond tree farmer had planted some young trees on his farm. He purposefully watered them half as much as other farmers did their trees. This was of course a hardship for these trees but it caused them to do something that served to benefit them greatly in the future. They sent down their roots deep in the soil in search of water, much deeper than the Almond tree farms nearby. They found a greater source of water available to them to utilize as much as they needed and then some, an abundant underground water table.

When droughts started to come into play, the nearby Almond tree farms struggled in staying hydrated, produce fruit and stay alive. However, these trees of whom the farmer permitted hardship in their initial growth, in the end were abundantly flourishing despite the greater hardship later on in their lives......because their roots were well established in a deeper water source than the other Almond trees. The farmer, through the initial hardship permitted, had long term good intended for these trees. This is only a word picture and not intended to be taken in complete, literal application but rather shows in nature a spiritual truth:


I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:16-20


So, my focus in healing was to first saturate myself in the love of the Lord, to make that the focus of my mind, heart and to remember. And as my roots went deeper in faith towards the sustaining, spiritual waters found in Jesus Christ I found myself very gradually, small step by small step, becoming strong:


Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:7


There were times that I had to really keep my focus yet again on this, which helped me tremendously in gaining sustaining strength. And, God was right there meeting me in the moment as I fed on His Word which gave wonderful encouragement, assurance of His love, guidance and help. He also would provide people who happen to come along in my life for supportive encouragement, those who were also struggling in the same manner or certain books that were of help (for me the Boundaries series by Cloud and Townsend really helped....certain situations they described I found myself emotionally reacting to, then I'd stop, write out what memory the stories reminded me of, how it affected me, what's currently similar and what new plan of actions, as God's Word lays out did I want to purposefully choose to put in place).


Where hardships come our way, God intends to use for our good, to prepare us to survive and flourish in future circumstances along with good works He has for us to engage in:



And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28


Sometimes I had to take time to think about certain situations, the components and how it affected me. Usually that stemmed from current situations that seem to trigger similar responses and I wanted to break down what was happening, how it made me feel, what past circumstances did that situation reminded me of and how that affected my responses and reactions. Then, what did God's Word say to do, to remember, to trust. What lie needed to be replaced with a truth or promise of God? And, prayerfully seek the Lord about what past response that doesn't work today do I need to replace with a healthier Godly response?

Over time God showed me that I needed to change some thought patterns and habits when I found myself ruminating. First was to simply become aware I was doing so, then to choose to stop, bring what I was upset about to God right then and there, honestly share my emotions on it (sometimes pretty intensely....just as King David did) and then return to the truth I knew about God....He was here to help, I could trust Him, rest and lean on Him....even when my faith felt like a thin thread. Then, it took His strength and courage to help me make a choice.....against all my emotions sometimes, to choose to forgive.

Sometimes a sin against someone can be a real injury to the soul and there were times where I had to tell God, 'I'm struggling here with forgiving, please, give me the power to do so or would you forgive through me?' And then leave in His hands. Even if throughout the day, the event I struggled with would come up, I would develop the habit to right then and there pray again, "Lord, I'm having a hard time with this, I've chosen to forgive and continue to choose to forgive, please help me." By God's grace and power, I shut down the rumination and chose to move into where God has directed in His Word to do so.

And, as we grow in Christ, God allows difficulties in order to test and prove our developed faith and to strengthen emerging faith. Where the enemy of our soul intends to utterly destroy us, God intends to prove us and our faith in Him. He's for us, not against us. God wants to see how we do under fire and wants us to see for ourselves as well. That testing and proving shows us where God has grown us in Him and where we need to continue to grow in Him. It's a journey with the Lord as He develops us in Christ. And often, the hardship, testing and proving prepares us for wonderful work that the Lord has in mind for us in the future.

I see this with Joseph, betrayed terribly by his brothers. Imagine the pain he felt there! But, what they meant for evil, God meant for incredible good and Joseph, discerning this seemed to move from the pain to seeing where God was working in these very tough circumstances. He changed his focus from the evil done to him to what God intended to do through him. Thank goodness he did this for God used Joseph in mighty, wonderful, life saving ways. King David and the years in the desert before becoming King of Israel was a tremendously difficult time. Reading his psalms certainly gives invaluable insight of the internal struggles, pain, hardship and even desperation for God to do something! But, his example of always returning to the truth that he can trust God, wait upon God confidently is what helped me to move forward in my own tough circumstances. Over time his faith grew and matured as he saw God work in his life over and over.

I began to learn to trust in God's plan for my life, even when I couldn't see. That's the hard thing right? When I don't have a vision of where God is taking me, the plans He has for me it's hard to look up from the circumstances, trust and to not despair, panic and put myself outside of God's will. However, as I saw and learned that God is indeed worthy to be trusted, I've learned to confidently seek the Lord for step by step direction for the path He desires for me and to be careful to remember that He's faithful, for if I ever stepped off the path of trusting God, I quickly saw that the tools of the world that I might utilize would only cause erosion. Failure to trust God brought about more problems on top of problems. Through trial and error, I chose to trust God, trust in His direction and guidance of His Word to follow and trust that in His time, He would work in me and others.

I remember as a kid having the knowledge of God and puzzled as to why in the world I had to go through the extreme craziness I was going through. It all felt unnecessary and unhealthy and the people in my life didn't have to operate in the ways they were (in my inexperienced mind). And yet, I knew God was there because He worked to meet all my needs in clear, miraculous ways. So, I began to perceive a little bit that what I was going through was being permitted, of which I could NOT begin to understand why.....until I was saved and reading His Word.

Those very situations God has today used to be of help and assistance to others. In ways I never dreamed of or would have imagined. Those experiences God used to make me approachable, real and then be able to point to how God is the answer, healer and sustainer in struggles, who satisfies beyond anything this world offers.

We have a young man in our lives, a friend of one of the kids who's grown up in the very same type of household as my husband and I. We are realizing that God may be using us and our experiences to be able to meet him where he's at in the pain and hopelessness he's feeling, come along side and then point him to the Lord. God would not be able to as effectively use us were it not for the challenges we faced ourselves in similar situations.

That's not to say we're perfect either. Right now, there's a situation in my life that's quite the difficulty and certainly, initially pulled the rug out from under my feet for a bit, feeling like I was in a mud pit unable to get out. However, because of God's past help in deepening my roots of faith in His love, His past faithfulness and increased understanding of the magnitude of His capacity to work on my behalf and in the circumstances I'm in, I eventually was able to, by God's grace, get back to staying anchored to Jesus in faith, trusting in God's love and His good plans in these difficulties as well. This was not a perfect process but a bit messy with God faithfully getting me back to focusing on Him, His way and His plan. What I'm seeing is my journey in this with the group of people involved is intended for all of our growth. And, to my surprise (which really shouldn't be) God is going to use for good in other's lives that I'm going to get to engage with. Now, that was something I didn't see coming but I'm sure glad I trusted God where I didn't see.


And, thank God He's very, very patient! It gives me permission to be patient too as God helps me to be purposeful in following Him. And,where there's been loss, the Lord has supplied abundantly elsewhere, including an inheritance, family and spiritual healthy environments.

Hope this encourages you in some way and gives you hope.


Well, I've got to sign off here for times sake. I'm going to be out of commission so to speak in the next week but I'll be praying for you and everyone here. :)
EL,

I really appreciate you sharing this with me. :hug: Much of what you wrote mirrors my own experiences, and it's good to know that others have gone through what I have in some measure. Some very good advice here!
 
Back
Top